Oct 26, 2014

overbooked

It's after 11 at night, and a friend just sent me a text asking where I was with a certain group project's paper. I told him that I hadn't done it yet because I was working on a paper for a different group project. I said that this amount of stress should be illegal.

He replied with "I don't think you are at your best unless you are way overbooked". It wasn't meant unkindly, but it got me thinking. In high school, I was the person that did everything. My senior year was ridiculously busy, and I did it all and loved every minute of it. Or - I remember loving it. I'm not actually sure if I loved it at the time.

Now? I just want to curl up in a ball and die. I've hit roadblocks in two of my (four) classes and really don't know what the outcomes are going to be. I'm nervous about the play. I'm fighting to remember everything that I need to get done between now and graduation - applying for the 'on time' rebate, getting my grad school application in by November 15th, studying for the tests, taking senior pictures, making and printing and mailing invitations, actually doing my laundry, and not oversleeping every morning.

After the train wreck that was last semester, I thought that I'd be able to deal with life better this time around. The summer was good for me; I was almost back to the person I'd been before everything happened. I had high hopes for this semester.

I no longer have those hopes. I am literally focused on surviving and making As in my classes - two things that I'm starting to believe are not both possible.

I'm still too vain to give up daily showers, but as it gets closer to beanie season, I'm not too sure how long that one will last.

How much is too much? Why do I do these things to myself? I'm always overbooked - that's literally nothing new. My inability to handle it - that's what's new. That's what's unsettling.

There's also the bit about me not actually knowing HOW to do something. Usually, I can figure it out or know someone who knows... Or I can ask the right questions. This time, we're in 'none of the above' territory. And that terrifies me.

48 days until graduation.

Oct 25, 2014

gluten free garlic bread

(did I maybe get my watermarks the same size?!)

Right. Garlic bread. It's super easy - I promise. Get some gluten free bread. It can be the butts. It can be broken pieces. It can even be different kinds of bread. See the four slightly lighter pieces in the top right corner of the pan? I don't even LIKE that bread when I use it for sandwiches. This was a last ditch attempt to see if I could use the entire loaf for something, or if it needed to be tossed. (Spoiler alert: I liked it. I'll keep it.) 

I use Canyon Bakehouse - mostly because I use that for sandwiches and toast, so I have it. You also need butter (I Can't Believe It's Not Butter is my preference for these, but regular butter works too), garlic salt, and parmesan cheese. 
 Take the full piece of bread, butter it on both sides, sprinkle a little garlic salt and cheese on both sides, and then put it down. I put foil on the tray for easier cleanup. Cut the bread into your desired breadstick shapes, and then stick it in the toaster oven. (You could probably also use an oven, but I didn't.)
 I put it on toast for a while at ~350F, and then switch to broil. It's all done just by sight - when the look like they need to be flipped, I flip them. When they look done, I take them out. That's why some of the ones in the picture below look a little burnt - they got a little too toasty. Still really good.
Honestly, it's that simple. Mine take about 25 minutes from start to finish.

Oct 23, 2014

my mom's spaghetti

(please bear with me as I learn to use blogger and the picture editing apps... I can't get my watermark the same size yet. carry on.)  

My mom makes the best spaghetti sauce I've ever had. We make it from scratch, by eye, taste, and instinct. Feel free to tweak it to your taste.

  • 24 ounce can of Newman's Own Tomato & Basil 
  • 24 ounce can of Del Monte Traditional Spaghetti Sauce (it might be called pasta sauce now...) 
  • 8 ounce can of Del Monte tomato sauce 
  • regular sized can of Del Monte chopped tomato & basil  

Add the Newman's Own, the traditional spaghetti sauce, and the tomato sauce to the crock pot (on high). Drain the chopped tomato & basil into the crock pot and then chop the tomato pieces into smaller pieces. It just makes it easier to eat. Add it to the crock pot.

  • green pepper, chopped 
  • 1 package, button mushrooms, sliced  
  • small yellow onion, sliced 
  • 3-4 large garlic cloves, peeled 

Now you start adding vegetables. Do a rough chop on the green pepper, slice the mushrooms to your liking (we pretty much cut them into four slices so that I can pick them out if I want to), and slice the onion. Peel the garlic cloves and just slice them a little bit down the middle. We pull out the garlic after it's done cooking, so we want them visible. Then, per usual, throw it all into the crock pot.
(lol at the watermark getting smaller and smaller...)

  • Italian sausage 
  • ground beef 

We use one package of Italian sausage and about a pound of ground beef. If you don't like one, use more of the other. We boil the sausage, drain it, chop it, fry it, and then toss it in the crock pot.
My mom recommends using the "best ground beef you can". We use 93%/7%. It makes it easier to clean up and requires no draining. Brown the ground meet, using a little bit of garlic salt and a few dashes of pepper for flavor. Transfer it into a shallow bowl, pat it with a paper towel to remove excess grease, and then add to the crock pot. Stir it all up.
  • about 1/2 teaspoon of oregano (we cover the top of the crock pot) 
  • a little bit of dried basil (in the making the sauce this time, we didn't have the chopped tomato & basil from a can... so we used extra of this) 
These can be added at any time. Seriously. Just add and stir. 
Now you leave it alone. This is probably the hardest part because it starts to smell wonderful. We keep it on high for 4-6 hours (or low for 6-8).
If you're going to add wine, add it about half an hour before it's done. We add wine and parmesan cheese, but both of these things are done on a whim so just kind of wing it to your taste. (So helpful, I know. We took half of the sauce out just in case the wine didn't work, and then added a quarter of a cup of wine and the same amount of parmesan cheese to the sauce. Let it simmer for about 30 minutes. It was good! I didn't really taste the wine in it, so there's that.)
Once it's done, remember to fish the garlic out. We generally count how many pieces we put in, and then make sure that many come out.

Enjoy!

I also make gluten free garlic bread. It makes me happy.

If you have leftovers (we always do), let it cool and then put it into zip lock bags and freeze. My mom suggests freezing it in single or 2 serving portions, so that you only have to defrost what you want. It saves and reheats perfectly. 
Also, we make a second batch of Italian sausage once we've eaten the first helping and add it to the crock pot as it's cooling. That way, we have sausage for the second round! (: We do that because I'm lazy and I don't want to make more sausage every time I want spaghetti, but you can do that if you want. 

~~~~~~~~

The following is the recipe written straight - without pictures (: If you've read the top part, this is literally condensing it and putting it in a recipe format.

My Mom's Spaghetti

Ingredients:


  • 24 ounce can of Newman's Own Tomato & Basil 
  • 24 ounce can of Del Monte Traditional Spaghetti Sauce (it might be called pasta sauce now...) 
  • 8 ounce can of Del Monte tomato sauce   
  • regular sized can of Del Monte chopped tomato & basil  
  • green pepper, chopped 
  • 1 package, button mushrooms, sliced 
  • small yellow onion, sliced 
  • 3-4 large garlic cloves, peeled 
  • Italian sausage 
  • ground beef 
  • a little bit of garlic salt (for ground beef) 
  • a few dashes of pepper (for ground beef) 
  • about 1/2 teaspoon of oregano (we cover the top of the crock pot) 
  • a little bit of dried basil (in the making the sauce this time, we didn't have the chopped tomato & basil from a can... so we used extra of this) 


  1. Add the Newman's Own, the traditional spaghetti sauce, and the tomato sauce to the crock pot (on high). Drain the chopped tomato & basil into the crock pot and then chop the tomato pieces into smaller pieces. It just makes it easier to eat. Add it to the crock pot. 
  2. Now you start adding vegetables. Do a rough chop on the green pepper, slice the mushrooms to your liking (we pretty much cut them into four slices so that I can pick them out if I want to), and slice the onion.  Peel the garlic cloves and just slice them a little bit down the middle. We pull out the garlic after it's done cooking, so we want them visible. Then, per usual, throw it all into the crock pot. 
  3. We use one package of Italian sausage and about a pound of ground beef. If you don't like one, use more of the other. We boil the sausage, drain it, chop it, fry it, and then toss it in the crock pot. 
  4. Boil the sausage, drain it, chop it, fry it, and then toss it in the crock pot. Brown the ground beef, adding a few dashes of garlic salt and pepper for taste. Transfer it into a shallow bowl, pat it with a paper towel to remove excess grease, and then add to the crock pot. Stir it all up. 
  5. Add the oregano and basil. These can be added at any time. Seriously. Just add and stir. 
  6. Let it simmer on high for about 4-6 hours or low for 6-8 hours. Remember not to open the lid too often, or you lose the heat. 
  7. Make garlic bread and pasta and enjoy! 

Oct 20, 2014

college update

Last week was a little hectic.
And by a little hectic, I mean really freaking hectic.

I had an accounting ethics midterm due Wednesday, two midterms on Thursday, and rehearsals Thursday & Friday. Deadlines at work were Wednesday (and the 20th)... so that was fun.

The Grad Gala at my university was the 14th and 15th of this month. All it is, really, is all of the stuff you need (or don't need) for graduation - cap & gown, lei (I go to an Island university. We wear leis at graduation), an alumni shirt, a graduation shirt, pictures, the graduation DVD... all that nonsense. There are tables for the alumni association, career services, and grad school stuff. It's great - a little overwhelming - but also nice to be able to deal with it all in one place. Luckily for me, it's in the building that I spend most of my time in. I bought my cap & gown on the first day and the lei and t-shirts on the second day. I hadn't quite decided if I wanted them on day 1. Like I said, it was a little overwhelming.

I've elected to not take the GMAT because it isn't required for me to get into the MBA program at TAMUCC. There were a lot of factors that played into this decision, but the main one was not wanting to spend $250 on a test that I wasn't ready for, that would only be useful for getting into a school that I probably wouldn't go to.

My grad school application is due November 15th. I think. I hope.

I've got a rough draft of a finance paper due on the 29th. Exams on the 3rd and 4th. Shows starting on the 6th. MFT (major field test) on the 8th. Finance project due on the 10th. Capstone presentation on either the 11th or the 13th. Ethics presentation on the 19th. Exam on the 25th. One final paper due December 2nd and another final paper AND a final exam due on the 4th. I think I have a final exam somewhere in there.

I want to throw up.

what's in my grocery basket?

(please bear with me as I learn to use blogger and the picture editing apps... I can't get my watermark the same size yet. carry on.)  

I've managed to avoid going to the grocery store for a while now, due to school and play rehearsals and work. Still, I've wanted to post one of these, so when my dad came home today with groceries, I jumped on the chance of giving you a look at what we buy. Shoutout to my parents for putting up with me arranging the groceries on the kitchen table...
EVERYTHING in this picture is naturally gluten free. Nothing special, nothing funky. Just regular products off the shelves at HEB.

Okay, that's a lot of stuff. Zooming in...
  • extra virgin olive oil 
  • Newman's Own Tomato & Basil (for my mom's spaghetti!) 
  • Ragu Pizza Quick 
  • mushrooms 
  • eggs 
  • Chai tea (more to come on this one... I'm really excited) 
  • Dole diced peaches 
  • Lay's Stax (see below - it's labeled!) 
  • HEB ground beef (meat doesn't have gluten in it unless there are fillers. 100% ground beef has no fillers.) 
  • Johnsonville Italian Sausage (see below)  

Note that while I just said meat is gluten free, there are LOTS of sausages that aren't gluten free. Johnsonville label their products, so I go with them. (Plus, well, they're good.) 

The other side of the table...
  • Gebhardt refried beans 
  • McCormick ground white pepper 
  • HEB gluten free pasta - spaghetti noodles and penne pasta 
  • Del Monte tomato sauce 
  • Kraft Mild Cheddar cheese 
  • Hill Country Fare Mozzarella cheese
  • walnuts 
  • (the thing you can't see in this picture) Tostitos original restaurant style chips (below) 

 Also: fruit and vegetables. Naturally gluten free. That's all.

That's all for today! Let me know if you have any questions about any of these things.
xx

Oct 14, 2014

toxic people

This is a post I've wanted to write for a while. I wanted to put it on bulletin boards on campus, spread it around the internet, shout it from the rooftops.

IT IS PERFECTLY ALRIGHT TO REMOVE TOXIC PEOPLE FROM YOUR LIFE. 

Encouraged, even. 

It's taken me a long time to figure this out. Growing up in the age of technology, it mattered how many MySpace or Facebook friends I had. It mattered how many likes or comments a picture got. It mattered who my top friends were (and now I feel old), and if my top friends had me as theirs.

Those things don't matter. Not really. Sure, you have a thousand friends on a social network, but some of them are people you had in your 2nd grade class that you really don't know anymore. Some are friends of friends. Some are strangers. Do you really want all those people seeing the things you post?

There's also the infinite possibilities for comparison. SO WHAT if the girl that sat next to you in science in middle school now has a boyfriend and you're still single? SO WHAT if someone from elementary school is now fat? Come on. Who really cares? Don't you have better things to do with your time?

I'm getting off topic. *breathes* Okay, so in addition to random people, you also have friends that, well, you maybe don't like so much. There's a quote floating around the internet about technology not allowing us to drift away from people. Just because you CAN stay friends with people on social media, even if you don't talk to them, doesn't mean you should. Do their posts make you feel bad about yourself? Do they make you feel sad? Do they frustrate you?  Delete them.

Let me phrase this a different way. Does their online presence make you do anything besides smile, laugh, grow as a person, or think from a different perspective? 
Newsflash: you probably don't need them. 

(I'm not telling you to delete your uncle who posts only about his fishing trips and you literally couldn't care less. If it's family, you need to be a little more careful. Consider using the hide or mute feature.)

Social media is just one of the many ways of keeping toxic people in your life. Trust me on this one - you need to get rid of them. Stop replying to their texts, and if you can't, block their number. Stop hanging out with them, even in a group. Your other friends will understand, and if they don't, maybe they're not your real friends. They don't have to "pick sides" - they just need to respect your decision. (And this is where I realize that I need to take my own advice...)

I'll tell you a story. If you got the point already, or have experience with cutting toxic people out of your life, you can stop reading now. I won't mind. (:

I was friends with this guy a long time ago. First, we hated each other. Seriously. He annoyed me, and then we did a show together, and he REALLY annoyed me. The feeling was mutual, so no worries. Cut to the end of my senior year of high school - talent show time. Him and I were both on the audition panel, and for once, we didn't bicker. He needed a ride home, and because it kind of sucks to ride home with a teacher, I volunteered. I didn't live far from him, so it wasn't a huge deal. He was a little wary of this (note that when I say this, it's because him and I have talked about it. I'm not filling in his thoughts to suit my story), but agreed nevertheless. It's a 30-minute drive from the high school to our area of town, so we got in a lot of talk time. Surprisingly, it was pleasant. His exact words about it later were, "who would have known that her and I would have so much in common and shared similar beliefs on government, economics, global climate change, and so much more". He became my best friend, quickly and completely, at a time when I really needed him.
We did everything together that summer, him and I and another of my best friends. There are so many good memories I have - memories that I haven't experienced since. My current best friends aren't like the ones I had that summer, and coupled with the newfound sense of freedom - having a car and the anticipation of starting college, it was unlike any other summer. Of course, I ended up liking him (please tell me you saw that one coming), and for a while, it was fine.
Then he started lying to me. Sometimes directly, sometimes by omission. It was never to hurt me, but it was there anyway. At one point, I got sick of it and made the first move to cut him out. He had books of mine, and I got them back but was extremely cold and polite about it. He noticed, and made an effort to fix it. Then, the same thing started again. It went on for several months until one day, a relationship change showed up on Facebook. My best friend had a girlfriend, and I didn't even know he was interested in her.
It seems kind of petty now, looking back. At the time, however, I was hurt. I cut him out of my life. I stopped messaging him, I stopped answering his texts, and we certainly stopped hanging out. It was good for me to not have him in my life.

Now, it's been at least two years since all of this happened, and we're cordial again. I think I would call us friends, but that's not really the point. We've grown up and moved on with our lives - separately.

And that's okay.  

It's okay to keep them out of your life. It's okay to cool off and fix things. It's okay to not justify your decision to everyone and their mom. It's your decision. It's your life. 

It's not okay to spread nasty rumors, ruin their life, or be a generally terrible person. I know, you want to. Trust me. Been there. 

Anyway, I think my whole point with this is that not everyone in your life has to stay. Remember that "other best friend" I mentioned? We aren't friends anymore, either. I don't handle being lied to very well. That's my decision. 

I've very recently cut another friend out of my life - this past April, actually. After six months of emotional manipulation and lies, I finally realized what was happening (after pretty much getting slapped in the face by reality, mind you). I realized my best friend was right the whole time. I realized I had suffered mentally. I noticed I was losing it. I was becoming a shit person and a shit friend and I was done. 
Six months later, I'm still angry. I'm still hurt. I'm still having to justify my actions to people I considered to be my friends as to why I refuse to be friends with this person. I'm still having to listen to their judg-y comments about my actions. 
None of that is changing my decision. I'm so much better off without this person in my life. The story of how this realization came to light is enough for a post of its own, but it's not one I'm ready to write. When I do, I'll link it here. (I haven't done it yet. I'll remove this once it's linked.) 

Stay strong. Evaluate the people you consider to be your friends. Find new ones. Think about yourself for a change. Breathe. It will be alright. 

Love, 
-C

Oct 12, 2014

quick and dirty gluten free: part 2

Today, I'm going to talk about kitchen stuff. Not food, but THINGS. Get a cuppa and a cookie and settle in, because this might seem like a whirlwind of stuff. I'll try to make it a little easier.

You know how you've been meaning to deep clean you kitchen but never really had the time? Now you have no choice.

Step 1: Run everything in your utensil drawer through the dishwasher, get a new silverware holder, and clean the actual drawer. Dusting your hands off over the drawer has the potential to contaminate every single knife, fork, spoon, whatever in that drawer. For us, potential is enough to rewash.
Throw away your old pizza cutter. Seriously. It's not worth it. (Note: If you have a gluten eater in your house, keep the old one of whatever it is I'm telling you to throw out and label the new one GF.)

Step 2: Wooden or plastic cutting boards. Plastic or metal strainers. Knife blocks. Toasters. Pizza tins.
All of these things can hold gluten. I don't care how well you scrub, it's a whole lot safer to just buy a new one. Now, buying new kitchenware can get expensive, so you can do it slowly... but don't use the old stuff in the meantime. Improvise, ask friends and family, skip the Tuesday night pizza until you can get a new pizza tin... You know what you have to do.

A note about toasters: some people in split kitchens use the double toasters - GF on one side and non GF on the other - as long as the two sides are separate. I wouldn't, but use your own discretion at that.
A note about toaster ovens: these are great. The cooking rack is removable and therefore cleanable, so you can do both (just not at the same time!).

Step 3: Clean your oven, microwave, and refrigerator. Stuff pops in the microwave, and can fall from the top while you're cooking. The oven and fridge are good to do just to double check, especially if it's becoming a totally GF kitchen. Go ahead and clean cupboards and countertops too, because the point is to get rid of gluten. Even if you're not going totally gluten free in the kitchen, clean everything. Everyone will just have to be more careful in the now-clean kitchen. Also - if you regularly spread flour on your countertops or rolled dough out straight on them, you need to invest in some counter-covering cutting boards.

Step 4: Know the difference. Disinfected is not the same as clean. Actually clean things. Soap and water. Sponges can hold gluten, so I would avoid using them if you have a shared kitchen unless you plan to change them out regularly or using different ones for different dishes. I use a washcloth (fresh for every load of dishes), my best friend uses a dish scrubber (and I feel safe washing dishes with that), and the dishwasher is always good.

That's all for now, partly because I don't want to overwhelm anyone and partly because I'm out of tea. See you next time! (:

Oct 5, 2014

con weekend

Just a super quick update and a bit of a warning. This past weekend was RealmsCon, an anime and multimedia convention here in Corpus Christi. This was my third year going, and the con's 10th year in existence. I love conventions, but they're draining. I didn't even attend the con for the whole time, but I did show up all three days. Over the next few days, I'm going to compile a few different posts on costumes, conventions, and general con related things.
I also have an exam tomorrow (for which I should be studying...) and a presentation on Thursday (which I should be working on). So... bear with me.
Seussical rehearsals have started. I'm loving being back in a show but it's making my schedule a little busier. The best kind of busy, but busy nevertheless.

If you have any questions, ask them now and I'll include them in the posts!

Have a great week! (: